Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
