I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
