but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize