is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize