So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
