Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
