just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
