Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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