'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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