Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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