doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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