i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize