what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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