Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just want nice things and good sex
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
