if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
