I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Someone signed my nipple.
You don't make any sense
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