You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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