also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
