Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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