Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
