Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
