i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize