Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
