your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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