belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
