My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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