Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she woke up with a sticky ear
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
