apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
