...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
