CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
