yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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