I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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