It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
