Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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