Where is the hickey?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
