Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
