Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how can u be prego again
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
