real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
