We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
