what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize