I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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