I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
