I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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