Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
