I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
