We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
