But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
