I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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