Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
