does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
