don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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