I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
