singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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