If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
