And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
