Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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