Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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