Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
