he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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