Kiss
Puke
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I will be naked everywhere
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
