OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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