i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
