he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
