3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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