I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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