would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
