How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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