Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
