I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
