i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
