two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
