I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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