This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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