we're blogging at a bar
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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