I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
