His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
