I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
