just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
