Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
