Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize