this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
