i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Couch. On fire.
Randomize