11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
