East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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