we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize