is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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