all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
