ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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